Attachment parenting can seem scary to some, odd to others, with parents following sometime strict rules and seeming too close to their kids.
But despite cultural misconceptions, myths and misrepresentations, there are many benefits to attachment parenting.
As WeWomen.com writeThe emotional attachment, which parents create through compassion and respect for their children, is like an invisible security blanket that they’ll keep forever. That sense of safety from their parents helps securely-attached children become more curious about the world, have higher self-esteem as adults, and know that there’s always comfort and encouragement from their parents should they fail.”
Sarah Ockwell-Smith, author of Baby Calm, considers attachment parenting natural parenting. It helps parents to better now their children and their needs and respond to them appropriately.
She also busts some myths saying bottle feeding is OK, kids don’t need to be attached to the hip and doesn’t create spoiled children. In fact, it allows for a more natural, empathetic form of discipline.
“The parenting style is more unconditional and understanding,” Ockwell-Smith said. “Parents would seek to understand why their child behaved in a certain way and recognize that it’s a sign of an unmet need or immature neurological development.”
Attached Parenting International writes in their eight principles for attachment parenting that this way of responding with sensitivity is key: “Babies cannot be expected to self-soothe, they need calm, loving, empathetic parents to help them learn to regulate their emotions. Respond sensitively to a child who is hurting or expressing strong emotion, and share in their joy.”
The organization also recommends nurturing touch and encourages co-sleeping, at least early on, to encourage bonding and meeting the sleep time needs of children.
But API also recommends parents find balance within their own life to provide a nurturing, balanced atmosphere for their kin: “Create a support network, set realistic goals, put people before things, and don’t be afraid to say “no”. Recognize individual needs within the family and meet them to the greatest extent possible without compromising your physical and emotional health. Be creative, have fun with parenting, and take time to care for yourself.”
And of course Ockwell-Smith encourages flexibility within families and that there are no hard and fast rules to attached parenting ultimately because each family is different:
“It really is about the emotions and intentions behind the behavior,” Ockwell-Smith said. “And as all families are different they will all find their own way of doing things.”
